Helen Dougherty-Graves (L 90-95).         

The following is based on the eulogy spoken at Helen’s funeral.

Born in 1977, Helen attended Ashfield Primary School and Stainburn High School before following her sister to St Bees, where she made friends who remained with her for many years. She always spoke fondly of her time at the school. While at St Bees she went on work experience to the West Cumberland Hospital Maternity Unit, and though at the time she was uncertain of where to make a career, it was her experience working there which made her realise what she wanted to do. In the words of her mother, ‘She was smitten’. Although she did not quite achieve the A level grades required to embark on her chosen course of midwifery at Newcastle University, she early showed the tenacity she was to possess throughout her life by immediately travelling to Newcastle to meet the admissions’ staff at the university where she convinced them in her eloquent way that she was right for the course and the course was right for her. They did not refuse, and she finally graduated in 1998 as a midwife, a day she recalled as being one of the proudest of her life. Her first post was at the Countess of Chester Hospital, and in relatively quick succession the management acknowledged her leadership skills by promoting her to Deputy Ward Manager in 2003, then Deputy Safeguarding Children Midwife in 2006. In this latter year she met her first husband, David, with whom she had a daughter, Freya.

In 2009, a year that was full of milestones and happiness for Helen, she decided that it was time for a change in career and she subsequently enrolled on a degree course that would qualify her to become a Registered Health Visitor. This same year she married Scott, and in 2010 gave birth to a little boy, Harrison. It was a difficult pregnancy yet she still managed to complete her thesis and graduated with a Master’s degree a month after her son was born. This epitomised Helen’s determination and tenacity and also her skills in organisation. As a colleague of hers said, ‘It didn’t take me long to realise that she was one of the most organised, lovely, funny people I would ever meet’.

Following her Master’s degree she went from strength to strength, working across Cheshire. She was appointed as family Nurse Supervisor for the Warrington area. Relishing the opportunity to manage her own team, build it from scratch, organise the service and control the budget, she was in her element. Not one ever to take the easy route, she did all this while pregnant with Eleanor, who was born in 2014. Helen was so proud of all she had achieved professionally that she would have loved to continue, but the impact of her work will undoubtedly remain for many years to come.

In April 2015 she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She met each and every obstacle with grace, dignity and great courage. Eventually, when she knew it was a battle she could not win, she did not indulge in self-pity but instead decided to organise a farewell party. Every aspect was planned from her bed. Her resourcefulness combined with her infectious passion for the event rubbed off on all who knew her. She passed away before the event could took place, which was heartbreaking for all concerned, but nevertheless it was a testament to her personality that she wanted to gather around her into one place all those who loved and cherished her.

She will always be remembered.

 

 

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The St Beghian Society    
St Bees School,    St Bees,    Cumbria,    CA27 0DS.

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